Pageant: The Musical Comedy Beauty Contest

Reviewed by Holly Bartges

I have to be honest.

(From Left to Right) Richard A. Clark, Michael Higginbotham, Preston Lee Britton, George Pulver as Frankie Cavalier, CJ Hosier, Todd Black, and Shannon McCarthy in Theatre Group’s Pageant.

I didn’t know what to expect from Theatre Group’s production of Pageant, The Musical Comedy Beauty Contest at Theatre On Broadway.

The truth is, I had more fun than a barrel of monkeys with this Steven Tangedal-directed show. Under the musical direction of Darren Wirth, the keyboard dances in vibrant aliveness alive to the chomping-at-the-bit music originally written by Albert Evans. It was a bit tempting to want to watch his fingers fly across the keys. However, the antics running around on stage handled the eye-catching competition very well.

Competition, there was. Six beauties from around the country, having won their regional contests, competed for the 2007 Miss Glamouresse Title.

With the aid of smooth-talking, flashy, suave, and debonair Master of Ceremonies, Frankie Cavalier (George Pulver), the six striking beauties competed in talent, swimsuit, evening gown, physical fitness, and Beauty Hotline crises counseling. In between stints, they each get an opportunity to showcase themselves and Glamouresse Beauty Products. The likes of which you have never seen before, and undoubtedly will never see again.

With tongue-in-cheek, Pageant, conceived by Robert Longbottom with book and lyrics written by Bill Russell and Frank Kelly, takes deliberate calculated pot shots at beauty pageants springing up all over the world at a drop of the hat. Maybe this is why Pageant is so much fun, as it shoots arrows into the pageants that take themselves so seriously. Well, that, and the talented cast, the clever lyrics, and the sometimes not so hidden smirks on the contestants themselves.

The big question of the night is who will be Miss Glamouresse for 2007. The judges, of course, decide. The five judges are: Frances Tetley-Jones, Windsor Castle Cleaning, Author; Emily Lloyd-Twee, Poet Laureate, Hallmark Cards; Cheryl Willa Klime, Harpo, Inc.; Mary Beth Clawhammer, Nationally recognized Author and Journalist; and Herbert Fleck, Executive Director “Rub and Grow Class Action Suit.” The wonder of these judges is that they change persona’s every night. Whoever sits in the first two rows of TOB, could easily be picked by Cavalier to assume one of these monikers for the evening. Yes, the judges change every night, which means the beauty who gets to reign as Miss Glamouresse 2007, will always be a surprise, which is the way it should be.

The contestants are: Miss Deep South, Laurinda Summerford; Miss Texas, Kitty-Bob Ames; Miss Great Plains, Bonnie Louise Cutlett; Mis Industrial NE, Consuela Manuela Rafaella Lopez; Miss West Coast, Karma Quinn; and Miss bible Belt, Ruth Ann Ruth.

They strut, they romp, they sing, they swagger, they walk the walk and talk the talk displaying their wares in whatever form they happen to come in continually pointing toward the ludicrous emphasis of beauty pageants surrounded by whatever fake can be gotten away with.

Miss Texas appearing in loosely defined cowboy attire rides a stick horse producing some knockout choreography by Richard A. Clark.

Miss Deep South salutes Old Dixie producing hand puppets representing “her” great great grandparents. A highlight of the show, this is very very funny on top of being executed with a keen sense of a professional ventriloquist. The quick-change execution is almost as mind-boggling as the music and words. For some reason Camp Town Races is expected. Miss Deep South does not disappoint in more ways than one.

When Miss Bible Belt explodes with I’m Bankin’ On Jesus Cuz he’s Bankin’ On Me, the audience can’t help but swing with the clapping. It’s the music, the lyrics, and the delivery that knocks everyone out.

Miss Industrial NE grabs spotlight attention with Classical Fantasia in D Major playing the accordion while roller-skating all the while staying safely away from the stage apron. Her for the most part blaze attitude sidesteps momentarily while she rolls through classical music.

Miss West Coast performs an interpretive dance called The Seven Stages of Me beginning with a hilarious simulation of her birth.

Russell made his debut on Broadway with the book and Lyrics for the critic acclaimed Side Show for which he won two Tony’s.

Because of the heavy demand for costume changes, there appear some slow moments in this production, but Cavalier shines picking up the slack. Even though the point of the show is to choose Miss Glamouresse 2007, Cavalier eyes the show as his moment in the sun reveling in the center of attention playing the audience as fine-tuned fiddle. He’s selling as much as, if not more so, than the contestants. Pulver nails Cavalier to the wall.

The costumes, of course, are outrageous sharing their own spotlight star with the contestants.

Surprise illuminates the show involving the audience at different moments keeping the audience on its toes as well as the performers throughout the run.

The Glamouresse Corporation introduces innovative beauty products including Lipsnack, an edible lipstick, smooth as marble facial spackle, special hair repair, snapping deodorant apparel, a powder puff with a vacuum, and solar panels for the hair.

Some of the contestants are there to win no matter what the cost, others are slightly more casual, and one obviously doesn’t care at all. The actors do well to imitate, project, and splash signaling their distinct personalities. Miss Great Plains recites a poem I Am The Land, which despite the somewhat caustic recitation lays a kernel of explosive truth.

Before the final voting, Cavalier presents the Glamouresse Girl Friend Award the equivalent to Miss Congeniality. This award also changes nightly.

Oh yes, one more minor element. In actuality, behind the glitter, the makeup, the slinks and poses Todd Black plays Laurinda Summerford, Miss Deep South; Preston Britton plays Kitty-Bob Ames, Miss Texas; Richard Clark plays Ruth Ann Ruth, Miss bible Belt; Michael Higginbotham plays Bonnie Louise Cutlett, Miss Great Plains; CJ Hosier plays Consuela Manuela Rafaella Lopez, Miss Industrial NE; and Shannon McCarthy plays Karma Quinn, Miss West Coast.

After this rambunctious beauty pageant roller coaster ride, it will be difficult to watch a real pageant, that is, if anyone watches them anymore, although there must be some who do, with a straight face. Pageant may not turn the theatre world on its head like Side Show did, but it is worth several good honest laughs, well directed, well performed, and a moment of just great silly fun with parenthetical jagged jabs of honest truth.