Mrs. Bob Cratchit’s Wild Christmas Binge

Reviewed by Holly Bartges

Mrs. Bob Cratchit’s Wild Christmas Binge now playing at the Victorian Theatre is a binge, all right, although it isn’t Mrs. Cratchit’s.

It is suppose to be funny, and the idea is certainly hysterical for those who have seen Charles Dickens’ Christmas Carol one too many times. There are the stage versions, but also TV-land’s Mr. Magoo, The Muppets, and countless commercials exploiting Mr. Tightwad himself, as well as the god-bless-us-everyone Tiny Tim.

Evidently the City Theatre in Chicago suffered from Christmas Carol saturation. They commissioned Christopher Durang to unsaturated them and write Mrs. Bob Cratchit’s Wild Christmas Binge He did and it premiered November 2, 2002. Durang not only wrote the script, but also the lyrics to four songs with music by Michael Friedman.

After all, Mrs. Cratchit deserves her place in the sun. Long suffering, she has forever taken a back seat to Bob, an auditor, who works as slave labor to the grouchy, bitter, Scrooge. He has to beg for heat, be grateful for the few dollars he makes, beg to have Christmas Day off, and silently endure verbal abuse. He always does, with an always happy smile.

That would be enough to drive anyone to drink, and Durang makes sure she does.

Mrs. Bob Cratchit’s Wild Christmas Binge holds all the possibilities of being down right hysterical.

Directed by Wade Wood, this production misses the boat to the Isle of Funny.

Part of the problem lies in the writing, and part of it lies in the production itself.

The play takes a while to get to the meat of the play. It delves into Scrooge’s early life filling in gaps Christmas Carol ignores.

Acting as Narrator, the Ghost (Linda Suttle) demonstrates what happens when magic turns lopsided. The Ghost is the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present, but also the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come. The time travel key has been programmed backwards either taking her to unplanned places, or arriving way too early to have any effect on the confused Ebenezer Scrooge, (Bill Selig). This element alone, promises to be one of the funniest aspects of the entire play. In the beginning, it appears as though the play really belongs to her. Suttle doesn’t push the funny far enough. She needs to grab hold of the role and own it, rather than rely on the lines themselves to bring in the laughs.

She manages to bring Young Scrooge (Kyle Hansen) and Old Scrooge face to face. Not liking each other, they mimic each other repeating Bah Humbug several times over. The Ghost gleefully exclaims Scrooge’s Bah Humbug is a form of Tourette’s Syndrome, which in 1843 would not have yet been identified. For people living with Tourette Syndrome, I doubt this would be very funny.

This satirical attack on Christmas Carol goes through several motions before it actually gets to the Cratchit’s home. Her name is Gladys (Priscilla Young). She’s frazzled with reason to be. Bob Cratchit (Jake Mechling) has a penchant for bringing home every street urchin he finds. In their root cellar live 18 children. I am having a problem seeing anything funny about 18 children being stuffed into a root cellar. Maybe because of late too many children have been found locked in basements and cages. Maybe. That is just not a funny idea anymore. It cuts too close to reality.

Gladys wanting to go to the nearest bar to drink could be funny, but Young hangs a sense of meanness around Gladys’ façade, and there is nothing funny about anyone being mean. Dumping happy go-lucky Tiny Tim (Eric Tedesco) on the floor every time he climbs into her lap doesn’t strike me as very funny either.

The play not only goes after Christmas Carol with its wild satirical binge, but incorporates selected themes from It’s A Wonderful Life, Touched By An Angel, Oliver Twist, and The Gift of the Magi. If the references had come in smooth transition, they could have been very funny. Having the cast point to them indicating “This is a very funny part” muffles laughter.

When Gladys threatens to jump off the London Bridge, she runs smack into Clarence who is clearly on his way to getting his wings. Here the writing could be sharpened with the confrontation between Clarence and the Ghost. It has all the potential of being very very funny. It points in the direction of funny without arriving.

Gladys wishes she had never been born. Clarence grants her wish.

A metaphysical mystery takes place at this point. If Gladys has never been born, she doesn’t exist, but this non-existent person becomes a major attraction to Scrooge. He likes her wicked style. She wallows in his money. They move to New York to live happily every after. If she’s never been born, and no longer exists, somebody’s magic got mixed up somewhere along the line.

Cratchit isn’t left out in the cold. Since Gladys doesn’t exist, he ends up with a nice Mrs. Cratchit (Amber Bodgewkecz) who feeds him happy smiles tit for tat. It is never clarified what she does about the 18 urchins in the root cellar.

I would like to see Durang takes this script back to the drawing board. The idea is delicious, and he is an extraordinary talented playwright, but his writing is juvenile, and some of his contemporary jokes are already out of date.

Wood is an extraordinary talented producer/actor/director. His cast line-up comes with strong artistic expertise. With this production they all appear to want to rely on the fact they can just be silly, exploit the not so funny lines, dressed in outrageous costumes designed by Kathleen Hopkins, and say “we’re funny because the script says so.” This play is a could be. It could be funny. It points toward funny. It just doesn’t arrive.

Now granted, it is a truth, I am especially hard on comedy, but I outgrew the seventh grade mentality a very long time ago. What is scary to me about this production is it could well be a hit. There are a whole lot of people out there who feed on brainless comedy.